222 TRIPOD’S PAD, LONGUEVILLE, MAY 5th

RUN REPORT, TRIPOD’S PAD, LONGUEVILLE

SUNDAY MAY 5th

Hare: Tripod     

Caterer: Tripod

He did it all this man – the run, the food and (for more brownie points) a vegetarian version of the food.  And all without COMES INFREQUENTLY who had cleverly organised to go to a conference in New Zealand.  He did though have help from DEAD GUMP, his visitor from Brazil where he used to live and Hash.  Help was dearly needed as winter started this day with a chilly wind and several dumps of rain necessitating run resetting.  In fact so much resetting was needed that the hare’s house was closed up and abandoned till 3.03pm when he returned from laying down more chalk.  By this time the pack had swelled to 27 and they were raring to go.  Really???  Talking a lot, definitely, and looking for more clothes was more like it.

With no time to spare we were told the run had been reset and there was one check with a walker’s arrow (so not a check for them) and 2 options for the runner’s to find out where to go.  Meanwhile go off up the hill while he gives a map to the young lady.  This proved to be TM ALL FOURS who made sure we all got the ‘young’ descriptor!

After a long way uphill and across roads the first arrow was spotted.  We were on!  Somehow the runners then missed an arrow and ended up in the bush running in the wrong direction (LAST CARD LOUIS said he wondered why he was running against the arrows), only to link up with those on the real trail and an on back.  Out onto the road again and another on back and no trail to be seen at all.  Study of the map gave little insight as there were no road names and the route was marked in bright red with no checks etc marked.  We all worked out we had to get to Burns Bay Reserve to hit the bush and what with that and no arrows except for the runners/walkers split the pack split up and went their individual (LAST CARD LOUIS = lost and never on trail) or collective-in-groups ways.  I ran with HE’LL DO, only seeing some walkers going the wrong way round Riverview boat shed for the rest of the run.  We picked up bush trail from Burns Bay, the first bit being impossible to run on, then into Riverview grounds, then running bush trails more or less all the way home.

Other than those who had not run there were no shortcutters or walkers back and we almost had to send out a search party for CINDERS, GEO NAIVE (especially with that name) and KAFFIR.  Interrogation of KAFFIR revealed ‘chatting’ was the reason for lateness.  Really, again?? The bucket opened and we met WHITE POINTER’s ‘little’ brother Leo (from Paddington, though PEE DUB heard Pennant Hills), witnessed NSOM committing the sacrilege of breaking a bottle of beer sideswiped by her back pack, and welcomed back STEVE EATER who has been in Shanghai for 2.5 years though we felt it was only a few months.  He boasted that having been Beermeister at NBH3 for 3 months before he left us, Shanghai Hash were so impressed they promptly made him GM.  He may regret  telling us that as we were reminded that with PHANTOM away for the next 4 months a Beermeister is needed.  Not that I’m suggesting anything.

The circle was called by RA, Hare and cook TRIPOD (is there nothing this man can’t do) and he promptly awarded himself 10/10 for the run.  He called up visitors Leo, DEAD GUMP and WHITE POINTER and STEVE EATER who are more correctly returnees and gave them a down down.  A lady whose name I didn’t get who arrived by taxi was called into the circle to explain who she was and where was she from.  She only got as far as ‘CANDLESTICKS didn’t turn up’ and all decided that explained the entire situation and welcomed her.

TRIPOD’s drinking contraption then came out and LAST CARD LOUIS was strapped into it.  Failing dismally, he split the entire lot.

KAFFIR meanwhile started giving his run report which was he was a walker, he was overtaken 3 times and there was no trail but nevertheless awarded it 8/10.

 

 

TRIPOD ignored this and SHORTSHEETER was then strapped into the contraption.  While appearing more in control she still couldn’t get any drink near her mouth.

 

Charges were called for and awarded to:-

CRUMPET for giving too much money to XXXX for the monthly fees.  Maybe as payback to a prior Hash Cash, XXXX waited till the circle to point out the error in the balance sheet.  And then had the temerity to give the change to CRUMB!!

HILL OF GRACE was awarded a down down for getting PEE DUB to part with $15 for a recycled NBH3 rugby shirt.  PEE DUB should be charged next month for trying to recoup his loss by taking all the empty bottles home for the 10 cent refund!!

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222 – April 2018 – BAYVIEW

 RUN REPORT, BAYVIEW DOG PARK, BAYVIEW, SUNDAY APRIL 7th

Hare: Mongrel                Caterers: Starboard and Mongrel

The first run on the day that daylight saving ended and there appeared to be no people who got the time wrong other than WHITE RABBIT who is late each week anyway, so doesn’t count.  A good turn out for the AGPU had STARBOARD, who didn’t realise it was the AGPU, wonder whether she’d made enough food.  She was happy to leave soup warming duties to sous chef NEXT WEEK who claimed an Achilles injury and said leave the nibbles to him.   At the time she didn’t realise this meant he’d eat them all.  The run was announced by Hare and outgoing GM Mongrel with mystery extra instructions emanating from his phone.  Turns out these were dogs barking (there were a lot in the park strangely enough) but no one does dogspeak so the pack set off still little the wiser for what to expect other than 8km for the runners and 5km for the walkers.

After quickly losing trail in the dog park, On was found by PHANTOM and LAST CARD LOUIS going through to the next park before a long uphill and an on back.  This was cunningly missed by STARBOARD and new temporary Pommie resident LYNDA LOOSE ARSE HULL (from Hull, UK) and was called by HIMALOAFER and DONGA who accused the ladies of trying to entice people to run further than they should.  And your problem is????  A bit of road running with no on backs and few checks quickly saw the pack well spread out but as the run led us to stunning views of the northern beaches well spread out there was little complaint.  Returning via the northern fringes of Mona Vale HE’LL DO commented we would soon be in Mona Vale.  When told he was already there, he was mightily relieved as he thought he was in Dee Why.  Fortunately for him we already have a GEOGRAPHICALLY NAÏVE so he didn’t get renamed on the spot.

The fast runners overtook the walkers not far from home and made it back to the bucket in 55 mins to welcome drinks to combat the almost 30 deg C day.  Nibbles left by NEXT WEEK were tucked into and MONGREL called the circle.

NEXT WEEK was asked to deliver the run report so he described what he’d done while minding the soup which included stirring it, walking to the bucket and getting a beer and then repeat.  He rewarded it a 9/10.

MONGREL was keen to be an ex GM so hurried things along and announced Visitors Elizabeth (GEO’s sister), AYATOLLAH from the Posh and LYNDA LOOSE ARSE HULL.  They were serenaded by a song from DONGA.

Next up was the competition for the name of the beach on the new NBH3 website, judged by ALL FOURS who with NEXT WEEK (website designer) were excluded from competing.  There was still an argument going on when it was announced it was Jervis Bay, claimed by SHORTSHEETER, BREN GUN and KITTY LITTER.  The Hash were then challenged to take pictures of any northern beach, the winner having their photo as the banner for the new website replacing the one chosen at random by NEXT WEEK who really didn’t have a clue where it was!

MONGREL then introduced one half of the new GM – SADDLESORE.  Judging it time for a generational change he had chosen SADDLESORE and BONDI.  Unfortunately, the latter was acting like an old man at home after blowing his knee doing sprints and could only limp around the house.  Whatever, MONGREL announced the new GMs and then promptly blew it by saying they were the new face of the Larrikin Hash.  Oops!  For her part, SADDLESORE when asked for advice said to never go for a walk with GEO.  I’m sure there’s more to this story.

Next up Beer Meister and Hash Haberdash, HIMALOAFER and HILL OF GRACE were called up and acting like Trump, MONGREL informed them they were fired.  He thanked HILL OF GRACE for doing a great job of selling off all the accumulated old Hash gear and said a new Haberdash would be announced soon after ALL FOURS had done the new design.  HIMALOAFER was similarly thanked and it was announced PHANTOM would carry on joint bucket duties for May after which a new person would be chosen (warning: picked at random) as he was off for 4 months after.

GEO was given a down down for snaring the new GM and the next run was announced as being set by TRIPOD presumably from Longueville.

And obviously keen to do no more GM duties, no charges were called for and food was announced.  Which luckily saw everyone fed with only enough left for STARBOARD and PHANTOM the next night, for which PHANTOM truly thanks everyone.

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