127 – July 2011 – Next Week & All Fours @Clontarf

At 3.00pm approximately 46 Hashers set off from Clontarf.  The runners were sent off towards the sands of Middle Harbour, along the coast walk towards Manly,  up and down endless hills and steps and twenty minutes later landed back at the reserve!   The walkers went off along the beautifully scenic Clontart to the Spit Track with the small pack of runners trying in vain to catch up.   Of course the amazingly agile  FRB’s, Cinders, Starboard caught them up and passed them.

The majority, after dicing with death crossing Spit Rd,  enjoyed a G & T. overlooking Middle Harbour before heading back along the out trail.      There were a few exceptions,  Breathless was found ‘sitting in state’ overlooking Spit Bridge declaring that was as far West as he would go, and that was that!  Donga decided the bridge would go up, separating him from the mainland as did Centrepoint and Pee Dub so didn’t join the cocktail hour preferring to get on with the trail blazing.       Mongrel, Old Hand, Quiet Achiever, NSOM and Mother followed on like a bunch of kiwi sheep and were taken (on trail) under and up and back over The Bridge and up the hideous 200 stairs to Seaforth.  Last Card Louis came racing up behind overtaking the pack, raced through the village before disappearing along the Ethel St overpass.      The rest straggled along behind eventually arriving at the reserve to find Cinders and Starboard changed and calmly finishing their first drink – it was mentioned they short cutted but when it comes to the FRB’s whose to know!

Robin Hood and Inky arrived in together at the back of the pack – Robin now moving more freely than most on the trail.

Just Johnny and Loco went straight to the car to dry down, giving Quiet Achiever apoplexy thinking J.J. was lost on trail.   Horny Hasher didn’t seem perturbed that his other half hadn’t arrived back!!!  Was that wonderful beanie he was wearing one of the famous knitter’s creations?

Darwin Don was back from Ethiopia , fitter than ever, def. fitter than when he left our shores with the dreaded lurgy.  The amazing man is off again shortly for more adventure.

How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?    Yakkity to give advice,  Jungle Jim to twist without result and Centrepoint to open with a bottle opener on the second attempt!!!!

and the CIRCLE………….

  1. Geo called up the Hares and for comments on the trail – a joint whine  from the circle complained there were not enough hills, steps, boats or parks – Crum shouting them down,  called them a belligerent lot!

We discovered it was Next Weeks birthday and All Fours had generously allowed him to set the trail all on his own, for his birthday!

 Donga organised a wonderful ‘rounder’ for the singing of Happy Birthday – and brilliantly sung it was too.

With all the excitement and enthusiasm,  the trail didn’t get a score – being his birthday run it was definitely a 9.9.

  1. Crumpet was fined for not washing her hand for a month.    After demanding George Gregan shake her hand,  her hand has not seen a shower or basin since.
  2. Two became four when Centrepoint and Breathless admitted they hadn’t done the whole trail, and then Pee Dub  and Siberia came clean as well.   Siberia declined the charge as she was ‘a working woman at the hash and didn’t have time   ’ and so promptly received another down-down.
  3. Jungle Jim and Darwin Don had both returned from their travels in time for a down-down.
  4. Geo then called Inky for the Hash Prayer – Crum asked for an earlier rendition in the future so everyone could drink without feeling guilty?   As if!
  5. Hanoi Bill was charged for being very, very, very late.
  6. 50 run horns were presented to Siberia and Seaman.      Seaman enjoyed massaging the rubber bit while he drank his down-down, Siberia complained she’s run 100 trails,  not 50!
  7. Visitors

                  Horny Hsher and Loco (celebrity knitter)

                  Leslie – friend of Hand Job

                  Mile High – Harriette

                  Parking Pussy – Harriette

                  Isabelle – daughter of Inky

                  Luke – boyfriend of Isabelle

                  Fiona – friend of Stormy


  1. Parking Pussy from the Harriettes announced her State of Origin trail on Wednesday next, starting from the Mosman Hotel.
  2. Kaffir2 wanted to know why Starboard had not told anyone about the manufactured marihuana or brought any along for her running mates.
  3. Even though Penile Dementia was in fine voice as usual, Darwin Don insisted on singing a song about boxes of cherries to Starboard.

Geo called social drinking and the troops demolished the pasta and sauces and then the birthday candles were lit on the cake and Happy Birthday sung (properly) again.


Kaffir2 – at a place to be announced when he’s analysed the long range weather forecast.


Anyone  wanting to set the run for September,   please let her know.

Posted in Run

126 June 2011 – Breathless @North Balgowlah

The day dawned sunny and mild and the Hashers met on the road outside Breathless abode – not being sure of the address they assembled on two driveways, covering two bases to be sure.

Breathless emerged, pointed down the hill and yelled on-on.    Off we went, down towards Burnt Bridge Creek deviation, most chatting flat out as usual.   Old Hand, getting ready for her Coast to Coast walk decided she needed to join the athletes,  Penile Dementia wound up his brace and took off at a trot,  you’d never guess Mongrel was a knee replacement survivor.    Venerable disappeared over the hill into the wild blue yonder.    Crumpet was lost without Darwin to look after (still in the Middle East-what a man).    There was plenty of parkland and lots of hilly bitumen with enough checks to keep us together most of the way.   A good scenic trail, Breathless’ favourite walk we were told.     It was a perfect distance as the sun was pretty low as we made our way back to the bucket and the warmth of Breathless new Bunnings Burner.

Stormwater, Crumpet and NSOM got busy in the kitchen heating the grub prepared by Breathless – delicious pumpkin soup and chilli con carne –  whilst the bucket was hammered outside in the cold.         When the on-after was called the food disappeared like I’ve never seen before.   Everyone came back for seconds and very last scrap was eaten –  well done chief,  you and Robin Hood could hire yourselves out!

Circle Charges;

.                The hare – no song,  the songmeister had forgotten his words (P.Dementia)

.                Yakkity, Calici, Cinders for taking part in the Nash Hash instead of running with the Hash.

.                Centrepoint for attempting to look like an athlete by driving around with a kayak on the car roof .

.                Old Hand for telling the talkers she couldn’t stay with them, she needed to look good running with the althletes.

.                Penile Dementia for letting (and remembering) students play with his knee

.                Visitors:  chimney, Loco, Peru & Horny Hasher.

.                Loco for imitating the knitters at the French Revolution.

.                Donga for boasting about his big one

.                Kaffir2 for turning up!

Presentation of the Mile Marker Trophies:

Stiff One was given (her second) down-down for forgetting to take them to the Anniversary Run.


Yakkity,  Crumpet, All Fours, Stiff One, Stormy.



Raffle Winners:

Ring Master, Chimney, Donga, Ashmore, Mother, Calcici, Stiff One x 2, Geo Niave.

NEXT RUN – ALL FOURS. & NEXT WEEK – Clontarf Reserve Car Park – 3pm


Posted in Run

125 May 2011 – Penile Dementia @Manly Dam

Section 3 – Shelter 33 Manly Dam – lovely spot,  fire place,  lots of firewood, shelter, table, water views, plenty of parking, Loo close at hand.   Everything the Hashers could ask for.

A good turn out took off clockwise around the dam after a comprehensive pre-hash address i.e. half way bucket,  long trail etc etc.   There was no mention of most of the trail being under water.

The trail more or less followed the track around the dam, a few devastating check backs, wonderful waterfalls,  the halfway bucket about two thirds of the way around on a rock ledge with wonderful vista of the area and then home along the bridge, passed the playground, ducks, swans, water hens to the camp site.

Small groups dribbled in just before sun set (yes it was a lovely day),  and suprisingly everyone finished the trail,  not too many made the half way stop (some talk of the Hare perving at the runners along the way and turned up late for his own bucket) and there very few grumbles about the wet feet – geez mate,  we’re Hashers!      No-body whinged about the length of the trail.

Donga supervised the Anniversary Jackets.

Lots of chatta with the beer and champagne in hand as the sun went down,  an hilarious circle with Calici taking the helm,

Down Downs for:

Hare:   setting the trail and only using 2/3rds cup of flour.

Visitors:  Doc. Sex on Legs

Repeated down downs:   Klangers,  Sex on Legs and Robyn Hood for talking in the circle

Thanks:   Ashmore, Mother, Calici and Hanoi Bill for the gas bottles and burners

Thanks:  (should have been but I forgot) Robyn Hood for the use of her huge saucepan.

Next Run:  Breathless –

Posted in Run

124 April 2011 – Crumb, Donga & Seaman @Queenscliff

NBH3 10th Anniversary Run – 3rd April 2011 – Run 124

Hares: Donga, Crum and Seaman

The special anniversary spray jacket was a big hit and new stocks have been ordered to meet the huge demand.
Circle started with the Hash Prayer and a short history lesson…..

“The first run was on 6th April 2001 at Shelly Beach. Donga and LSD decided to find Rusky Doodle an Australian squeeze as the Russian Bride trips were not working. They thought an advertisement in the local paper for a new Hash on the Northern Beaches would do the trick. Unfortunately the gorgeous young things who turned up took one look at the old codgers and didn’t come back for a second try”

Geo presented the two founders with a laminated copy of the original Manly Daily advertisement.

First hashers: Stormwater, Kaffir, Inky, Stiff One, Buddah, Floss & Donga

All previous and current GMs present as follows.

  1. DONGA,
  2. LSD
  4. KAFFIR.


BUGLE (50 runs) Yakity – 72 Crumpet – 73 Seaman – 59 Siberia – 57 Stormwater – 50 All Fours – 49

SILVER TANKARD (100 runs) Crum – 102

SPECIAL CONGRATULATIONS: Robin Hood for being the very best Hash Fork.

Posted in Run

123 March 2011 – Yakkity Yak & Calici Virus @St Ives

It really was a good trail!   Very long,  lots of fun,  treacherous and designed for mountain goats.   We should have been aware when one of the hares  arrived back just as the troop’s gathered, covered in bloody scrapes.

Visitors aplenty,  dogs a plenty and Northern Beaches regulars set out from the eastern side of St. Ives at 4.00pm for the last time this season – a little reminder to all that daylight saving finishes the first Saturday of April.

Across Acron oval into the bush,  along fire trails, through creeks,  down  uncharted territory – read steep declines much suited to bottom sliding through the shiggy.  The pack stayed together for the first 30 minutes and then the inhospitable terrain spread the pack. The cliff climb at the very end where broken finger nails, knee skin and even tufts of hair, were left behind,  believe it or not gave us the energy to run for the bucket back over the hill on the far side of the oval to grab the thirst quenching Beveridge.

Unbelievably, dear Darwin Don finished the trail in good time though there was concern at one stage he would be upended by an excitable canine. Crumpet you really are a very thoughtful guide.

And how can you tell it’s a really good trail?  The pack arrives back bloody, sweaty, exhausted but happy and gay.


Inky recited the prayer

The Barmaids were chastised for not having the down downs prepared – what barmaid?

Seaman was called on to describe the run:  the similarity with the Himalayas brought back wonderful memories – he marvelled at the rainbow colours, merry hashmen and then rambled on about the gay mardi gras – and gave it 9.5.    He as obviously a very satisfied man!!!!!

Hares Yakity and Calici joined Seaman for a down down

Phantom was charged for having 2 behind the bushes (?)

Visitors:  Have You from Ottowa, Log Jam, Piece Perfect from Hong Kong, Dip Sticks Mother Martina a No-Name Gail

Rancid was charged for early stages of dementia,  she couldn’t remember hash names.

Blood on Trail – Darwin, Crumb and Yakkity.

From the Floor:

All Day Succour and Frostie – cruelty to animals

Cinderella and Donga – new shoes (tea bagged)

Cinderella – disrespect for the Posh Trail Markers

Starboard and Cinders – letting the pack go the wrong way and taking advice from Kiwis.

All the Kiwis – for being a Kiwi

Lovely tucker organised by Calici and I think Robin Hood had a hand in it somehow, enjoyed by the huge group who stayed for the on-after.

Next Run:    Anniversary Run – 3pm

Hare:  Crumb

Start: Queenscliff Surf Club

Special 10th Anniversary apparel included in the run cost.

  Following Run:  Penile Dementia supported by N.S.O.M.

Posted in Run

122 February 2011 Siberia @Mosman

Run Report February 4th

It was thirty minutes before Siberia’s run when the storm hit – it rained, it blew and it was bloody uncomfortable.  But, they still ran………and walked………..but the arrows were gone and red and white plastic (?) tape was blown away.    Siberia willed them on from and so they came back, joyfully to Robin Hood’s smelly cheese and the ice-cold watermelon.

Well done Siberia, organising the restaurant courtyard for the bucket and on-after was really fortuitous – there was not another covered spot in whole of Headland Park.

The Grand Mattress decided to reverse the proceedings and the circle would come after the on-after – a decision made after adventuring to the bbq in a  squall to heat the left over hamburger meat from the Rydal weekend (no Siberia,  they were not sitting in Geo’s boot for the last two weeks).

At the Circle:

Inky gave the Hash Prayer

The GM gave the following down-downs

  • Hare,  washed out but fun trail
  • Calici for getting lost before the trail was called on.    He was commanded to look for the website next time and not to let it happen again
  • Next Week was introduced to Calici to confirm there really is a website
  • Hill of Grace for the unspeakable things which went on with a tennis ball and a hammer and frightening Pee Dub into going home before the on-after
  • Siberia and Penile Dementia for disappearing into the bush in the little red car and wanting Starboard to make up a threesome

From the Floor

  • Phantom for sneakily staying behind and devouring food during preparation and then joining the front runners at the end of the trail – no wonders he’s always one of the first home
  • Crum for leading the lost souls in the wilderness – blind leading the blind in fact.
  • Crum again for screaming No Shit On Me across Collaroy Beach during the ‘old peoples’ surf carnival

All down-downs ably accompanied by renditions from Penile Dementia and his song book.

New Tradition

Penile Dementia led ‘Sweet Chariot’ with singing and actions, humming and actions and silence and actions.

To be sung in future after the circle though hand, mouth, brain co-ordination  issues were very much in evidence and it could be a while before we are any competition to the Sweet Adeline’s .

Next Run

Yakkity Yak, St. Ives (Garigal National Park)

April Run

AGM Trail – 10th anniversary.

Posted in Run