Feb 2020 – XXXX & Hill of Grace at Deep Creek Reserve
Attended by nineteen hashers
XXXX supplied the following trail description as follows in italics:-
The Trails were set on Mountain Bike Tracks as follows using track names from Trailforks
Runners and Walkers
Two Bridges; Deep Creek Connect – Check; Rust Bucket – Check; X Morgan Downhill; Loamsville – Check; Blackalicious – Check; Bennies accessed up a rope; V-B-Y connect – Check; Ya Mum – Part way up trail is split and walkers head right
Ya Mum; Bull Ant; Slippery Dip; Deep Creek Connection; X Bennies DH; Deep Creek; Two Bridges
VoVo’s; X Push Up; X Blackalicious – Check; X Morgan Down Hill; X Frenchies – Check; Rust Bucket; Happy Ending; Deep Creek Connect; Two Bridges
X means we crossed the trail
– Check means check was placed at junction
The Star athlete of the day was Hanoi Bill who reached the bucket with a time of 59:59 exactly
He’ll Do and Starboard finished the run after 1:03 with He’ll Do complaining that he lost time going up Bennies DH following arrows set by the Posh three weeks previously which were single pointed and a different shape. Someone should have a word with He’ll Do to tell him that hashing is not a race and the philosophy of Hash is that the trail should keep everyone together. Kitty Litter finished the Walkers Trail in 1:14 and was not happy at being sent back out to find Three Swigs who was enjoying the afternoon stroll on her lonesome.
The On On was moved under cover by the toilets where we all enjoyed the food s prepared by Hill of Grace. Both trails were rated 10/10 but then marked down because XXXX was involved in the setting. Down Downs were administered to the hares and various other miscreants. Just as the On On was winding up the heavens opened up and all trace of NBH3 being there were washed away.
What a great Xmas run, generous bucket and fabulous food.
Many thanks to Bondi & Saddlesore, Phantom, All Fours & Next Week – well done!!
See the photos below.
Darwin Don’s Wake was held at the Redfern Club on 23rd November 2019.
It was brilliantly organised by Crumpet and Crum and a wonderful celebration of Don’s life, we heard from friends, colleagues, gym and swimming buddies and, of course, hash mates. There are a few photos below.
We also played a video during the afternoon that was originally compiled for Don’s 90th Birthday and has been extended several times to become a tribute to Don’s life.
On On, Next Week
RUN REPORT, Balgowlah
SUNDAY SEPT 1st 2019
Hare: All fours & Next Week
North Harbour Reserve – photos on Facebook
RUN REPORT, TRIPOD’S PAD, LONGUEVILLE
SUNDAY MAY 5th
He did it all this man – the run, the food and (for more brownie points) a vegetarian version of the food. And all without COMES INFREQUENTLY who had cleverly organised to go to a conference in New Zealand. He did though have help from DEAD GUMP, his visitor from Brazil where he used to live and Hash. Help was dearly needed as winter started this day with a chilly wind and several dumps of rain necessitating run resetting. In fact so much resetting was needed that the hare’s house was closed up and abandoned till 3.03pm when he returned from laying down more chalk. By this time the pack had swelled to 27 and they were raring to go. Really??? Talking a lot, definitely, and looking for more clothes was more like it.
With no time to spare we were told the run had been reset and there was one check with a walker’s arrow (so not a check for them) and 2 options for the runner’s to find out where to go. Meanwhile go off up the hill while he gives a map to the young lady. This proved to be TM ALL FOURS who made sure we all got the ‘young’ descriptor!
After a long way uphill and across roads the first arrow was spotted. We were on! Somehow the runners then missed an arrow and ended up in the bush running in the wrong direction (LAST CARD LOUIS said he wondered why he was running against the arrows), only to link up with those on the real trail and an on back. Out onto the road again and another on back and no trail to be seen at all. Study of the map gave little insight as there were no road names and the route was marked in bright red with no checks etc marked. We all worked out we had to get to Burns Bay Reserve to hit the bush and what with that and no arrows except for the runners/walkers split the pack split up and went their individual (LAST CARD LOUIS = lost and never on trail) or collective-in-groups ways. I ran with HE’LL DO, only seeing some walkers going the wrong way round Riverview boat shed for the rest of the run. We picked up bush trail from Burns Bay, the first bit being impossible to run on, then into Riverview grounds, then running bush trails more or less all the way home.
Other than those who had not run there were no shortcutters or walkers back and we almost had to send out a search party for CINDERS, GEO NAIVE (especially with that name) and KAFFIR. Interrogation of KAFFIR revealed ‘chatting’ was the reason for lateness. Really, again?? The bucket opened and we met WHITE POINTER’s ‘little’ brother Leo (from Paddington, though PEE DUB heard Pennant Hills), witnessed NSOM committing the sacrilege of breaking a bottle of beer sideswiped by her back pack, and welcomed back STEVE EATER who has been in Shanghai for 2.5 years though we felt it was only a few months. He boasted that having been Beermeister at NBH3 for 3 months before he left us, Shanghai Hash were so impressed they promptly made him GM. He may regret telling us that as we were reminded that with PHANTOM away for the next 4 months a Beermeister is needed. Not that I’m suggesting anything.
The circle was called by RA, Hare and cook TRIPOD (is there nothing this man can’t do) and he promptly awarded himself 10/10 for the run. He called up visitors Leo, DEAD GUMP and WHITE POINTER and STEVE EATER who are more correctly returnees and gave them a down down. A lady whose name I didn’t get who arrived by taxi was called into the circle to explain who she was and where was she from. She only got as far as ‘CANDLESTICKS didn’t turn up’ and all decided that explained the entire situation and welcomed her.
TRIPOD’s drinking contraption then came out and LAST CARD LOUIS was strapped into it. Failing dismally, he split the entire lot.
KAFFIR meanwhile started giving his run report which was he was a walker, he was overtaken 3 times and there was no trail but nevertheless awarded it 8/10.
TRIPOD ignored this and SHORTSHEETER was then strapped into the contraption. While appearing more in control she still couldn’t get any drink near her mouth.
Charges were called for and awarded to:-
CRUMPET for giving too much money to XXXX for the monthly fees. Maybe as payback to a prior Hash Cash, XXXX waited till the circle to point out the error in the balance sheet. And then had the temerity to give the change to CRUMB!!
HILL OF GRACE was awarded a down down for getting PEE DUB to part with $15 for a recycled NBH3 rugby shirt. PEE DUB should be charged next month for trying to recoup his loss by taking all the empty bottles home for the 10 cent refund!!
On On STARBOARD
RUN REPORT, BAYVIEW DOG PARK, BAYVIEW, SUNDAY APRIL 7th
Hare: Mongrel Caterers: Starboard and Mongrel
The first run on the day that daylight saving ended and there appeared to be no people who got the time wrong other than WHITE RABBIT who is late each week anyway, so doesn’t count. A good turn out for the AGPU had STARBOARD, who didn’t realise it was the AGPU, wonder whether she’d made enough food. She was happy to leave soup warming duties to sous chef NEXT WEEK who claimed an Achilles injury and said leave the nibbles to him. At the time she didn’t realise this meant he’d eat them all. The run was announced by Hare and outgoing GM Mongrel with mystery extra instructions emanating from his phone. Turns out these were dogs barking (there were a lot in the park strangely enough) but no one does dogspeak so the pack set off still little the wiser for what to expect other than 8km for the runners and 5km for the walkers.
After quickly losing trail in the dog park, On was found by PHANTOM and LAST CARD LOUIS going through to the next park before a long uphill and an on back. This was cunningly missed by STARBOARD and new temporary Pommie resident LYNDA LOOSE ARSE HULL (from Hull, UK) and was called by HIMALOAFER and DONGA who accused the ladies of trying to entice people to run further than they should. And your problem is???? A bit of road running with no on backs and few checks quickly saw the pack well spread out but as the run led us to stunning views of the northern beaches well spread out there was little complaint. Returning via the northern fringes of Mona Vale HE’LL DO commented we would soon be in Mona Vale. When told he was already there, he was mightily relieved as he thought he was in Dee Why. Fortunately for him we already have a GEOGRAPHICALLY NAÏVE so he didn’t get renamed on the spot.
The fast runners overtook the walkers not far from home and made it back to the bucket in 55 mins to welcome drinks to combat the almost 30 deg C day. Nibbles left by NEXT WEEK were tucked into and MONGREL called the circle.
NEXT WEEK was asked to deliver the run report so he described what he’d done while minding the soup which included stirring it, walking to the bucket and getting a beer and then repeat. He rewarded it a 9/10.
MONGREL was keen to be an ex GM so hurried things along and announced Visitors Elizabeth (GEO’s sister), AYATOLLAH from the Posh and LYNDA LOOSE ARSE HULL. They were serenaded by a song from DONGA.
Next up was the competition for the name of the beach on the new NBH3 website, judged by ALL FOURS who with NEXT WEEK (website designer) were excluded from competing. There was still an argument going on when it was announced it was Jervis Bay, claimed by SHORTSHEETER, BREN GUN and KITTY LITTER. The Hash were then challenged to take pictures of any northern beach, the winner having their photo as the banner for the new website replacing the one chosen at random by NEXT WEEK who really didn’t have a clue where it was!
MONGREL then introduced one half of the new GM – SADDLESORE. Judging it time for a generational change he had chosen SADDLESORE and BONDI. Unfortunately, the latter was acting like an old man at home after blowing his knee doing sprints and could only limp around the house. Whatever, MONGREL announced the new GMs and then promptly blew it by saying they were the new face of the Larrikin Hash. Oops! For her part, SADDLESORE when asked for advice said to never go for a walk with GEO. I’m sure there’s more to this story.
Next up Beer Meister and Hash Haberdash, HIMALOAFER and HILL OF GRACE were called up and acting like Trump, MONGREL informed them they were fired. He thanked HILL OF GRACE for doing a great job of selling off all the accumulated old Hash gear and said a new Haberdash would be announced soon after ALL FOURS had done the new design. HIMALOAFER was similarly thanked and it was announced PHANTOM would carry on joint bucket duties for May after which a new person would be chosen (warning: picked at random) as he was off for 4 months after.
GEO was given a down down for snaring the new GM and the next run was announced as being set by TRIPOD presumably from Longueville.
And obviously keen to do no more GM duties, no charges were called for and food was announced. Which luckily saw everyone fed with only enough left for STARBOARD and PHANTOM the next night, for which PHANTOM truly thanks everyone.
On On STARBOARD
Hare: Shin Splints
Weekend Away at Hawks Nest
Hare: Bren Gun
Caterers: Taken Orally and Cynthia
Not only was it still cold, it was pissing with rain and very windy. Not surprisingly a small turn out though just beat last year’s October run which coincided with the long weekend and the Manly Jazz Festival thereby giving NEXT WEEK an excuse not to run. Not so this year when this week NEXT WEEK showed up! Hare Bren Gun mentioned his well set run was washed out but he had several maps in plastic covers. Of more concern to him was what to do with the 6 chooks that had been cooked that morning as he’d been told to cater for 20!! Also where to eat them as the only shelter in the gas works car park was under a noticeboard showing what native flora and fauna could be encountered – and that barely covered people standing up squeezed together let alone trying to eat and enough elbow room for a few drinks. Little Manly Kiosk came to the rescue as it was noted it closed at 3pm and chairs, tables and cover could be used. With the essentials decided we were off with TM ALL FOURS choosing to walk with a brolly and GEO just walking.
Given it was really shit weather there were a lot of arrows and flour still visible but all checks and on backs were basically ignored – easy with a map in hand. CINDERS and STARBOARD did the whole run, meeting up with WHITE POINTER outside Manly Hospital claiming he’d lost the trail. Personally I just don’t think he could keep up! No one knows where PHANTOM and PEE DUB disappeared to but they did get back wet. What would have been a beautiful summer run up in the bush round North Head was just a good solid run, but welcome nonetheless as it got us outside being healthy!
Little Manly Kiosk proved a godsend though the wind still whistled past us and with no ceremony whatsoever the chooks, green salad and potato salad were hoovered up even before the liquids flowed and the circle was called. Proving how cold it was no champagne or white wine was opened, little beer required so a huge run on the red wine, needing 2 replacement trips to the Hash Bucket car. Partly because one bottle was diabolical, but mostly because the wind kept blowing cups over!!
Stomachs filled and red wine still flowing (all over the place) the circle was called by stand in GM/RA NEXT WEEK.
The run report was given by ALL FOURS who was allowed to do so as she walked the whole run. Got a pretty good report. She and the hare BREN GUN were down downed. Next came the charges.
ALL FOURS charged by GEO for marking off the trail so well she found it dead easy to follow, and as a reward presented ALL FOURS with a present – her brolly cover she’d dropped.
XXXX was down downed for getting to the run so quickly after a hip replacement. He said he’d had to come to do Hash Cash as he didn’t trust STARBOARD!!
Visitors Cynthia (one of Bren Gun’s cooks) and Paul were suitably welcomed and forced to drink.
STARBOARD charged PHANTOM with overdoing the cheapness of the wine with the undrinkable bottle of red being discovered only costing him $2.85 from Aldi. We should have given him a down down with it but we weren’t quick enough!
On On STARBOARD
GOVERNOR PHILLIP LOOKOUT
Hare: Kitty Litter
Caterer: Three Swigs
GM MONGREL arrived early to find the warmest place at the start as the second day of spring was still decidedly wintry even though the sun had replaced the morning rain. Warmest spot was declared right by the first Hash arrow pointing vertically up a cliff face! Hare KITTY LITTER gave a few words of run explanation and demonstrated the easiest way to do the ‘only tricky bit’ of the vertical start – and almost came a cropper himself. PHANTOM climbed up to demonstrate it more agilely but suspect he just wanted a head start as the straight up start produced a huge tail back with the pack well strung out puffing and panting.
At the stupendous views from the Lookout the runners and walkers parted even further as the walkers dutifully stopped to admire the view and even take some photos. Your Scribe being a non-runner due to a slight accident getting into a boat (actually not getting into it, which was the problem), set off as quickly as she could which meant she was almost as fast as the runners and certainly faster than the walkers, so after 30 mins solitary marching she was bemused to find the runners and the walkers ahead of her. Only on the Hash. I suspect it happened at a very cunning loop where the run actually came back on itself and only careful marking by TM ALL FOURS after a 30 minute briefing from the Hare just before the run ensured scribe STARBOARD did the whole loop. Not so the rest of the walkers. Considering we were never very far from the start the run made excellent use of stairs and bush between roads. On a small piece of bushland a non-Hashing pair were learning the rudiments of golf strokes and after being disturbed by the 4th lot of people going through them looked as if they may use their clubs for something else. A long run round a soccer pitch was shortcutted by everyone except the Scribe then most people short cut the final loop round the park at the start to come back down the original up. That’s what happens when they can see the bucket one way and the home trail stretching the other way!!
Drinks were brought out and KITTY LITTER feverishly cut up the last tomatoes as the sun had left the park and it was even colder, so the circle and food were needed promptly. Undeterred by the cold HIMALOAFER stripped off his sweaty shirt supposedly discreetly – right in front of everyone. But luckily he covered up quickly and the GM having returned we could hurry up proceedings.
As it was Father’s Day the GM called for all fathers and grandfathers to come up, then had to add great grandfathers after discovering HIMALOAFER was one. Of course he was also a grandfather and father but difficult to be in 3 places at once though he did try to have a down down with each group. Not so silly.
Not counting MONGREL as he was in charge of proceedings we appeared to have 1 great grandfather, 8 grandfathers and 3 fathers of which one was reluctant and BONDI asked if it included those fighting paternity suits. PHANTOM said he was trying to become a father as he and SIBERIA got quite close trying to keep warm. KITTY LITTER thought he’d won the ultimate down down for having the most grandchildren – 3 – till he was soundly trumped (get it) by LAST CARD LOUIS who had 10!! Several hours later after all those down downs we got to the run report.
SADDLE SORE started the report but as she admitted to arriving late and missing the worse loop she was booed off. As was HIMALOAFER who said the run went up, went round, then went down giving it a 6.
At 3.00pm approximately 46 Hashers set off from Clontarf. The runners were sent off towards the sands of Middle Harbour, along the coast walk towards Manly, up and down endless hills and steps and twenty minutes later landed back at the reserve! The walkers went off along the beautifully scenic Clontart to the Spit Track with the small pack of runners trying in vain to catch up. Of course the amazingly agile FRB’s, Cinders, Starboard caught them up and passed them.
The majority, after dicing with death crossing Spit Rd, enjoyed a G & T. overlooking Middle Harbour before heading back along the out trail. There were a few exceptions, Breathless was found ‘sitting in state’ overlooking Spit Bridge declaring that was as far West as he would go, and that was that! Donga decided the bridge would go up, separating him from the mainland as did Centrepoint and Pee Dub so didn’t join the cocktail hour preferring to get on with the trail blazing. Mongrel, Old Hand, Quiet Achiever, NSOM and Mother followed on like a bunch of kiwi sheep and were taken (on trail) under and up and back over The Bridge and up the hideous 200 stairs to Seaforth. Last Card Louis came racing up behind overtaking the pack, raced through the village before disappearing along the Ethel St overpass. The rest straggled along behind eventually arriving at the reserve to find Cinders and Starboard changed and calmly finishing their first drink – it was mentioned they short cutted but when it comes to the FRB’s whose to know!
Robin Hood and Inky arrived in together at the back of the pack – Robin now moving more freely than most on the trail.
Just Johnny and Loco went straight to the car to dry down, giving Quiet Achiever apoplexy thinking J.J. was lost on trail. Horny Hasher didn’t seem perturbed that his other half hadn’t arrived back!!! Was that wonderful beanie he was wearing one of the famous knitter’s creations?
Darwin Don was back from Ethiopia , fitter than ever, def. fitter than when he left our shores with the dreaded lurgy. The amazing man is off again shortly for more adventure.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer? Yakkity to give advice, Jungle Jim to twist without result and Centrepoint to open with a bottle opener on the second attempt!!!!
and the CIRCLE………….
- Geo called up the Hares and for comments on the trail – a joint whine from the circle complained there were not enough hills, steps, boats or parks – Crum shouting them down, called them a belligerent lot!
We discovered it was Next Weeks birthday and All Fours had generously allowed him to set the trail all on his own, for his birthday!
Donga organised a wonderful ‘rounder’ for the singing of Happy Birthday – and brilliantly sung it was too.
With all the excitement and enthusiasm, the trail didn’t get a score – being his birthday run it was definitely a 9.9.
- Crumpet was fined for not washing her hand for a month. After demanding George Gregan shake her hand, her hand has not seen a shower or basin since.
- Two became four when Centrepoint and Breathless admitted they hadn’t done the whole trail, and then Pee Dub and Siberia came clean as well. Siberia declined the charge as she was ‘a working woman at the hash and didn’t have time ’ and so promptly received another down-down.
- Jungle Jim and Darwin Don had both returned from their travels in time for a down-down.
- Geo then called Inky for the Hash Prayer – Crum asked for an earlier rendition in the future so everyone could drink without feeling guilty? As if!
- Hanoi Bill was charged for being very, very, very late.
- 50 run horns were presented to Siberia and Seaman. Seaman enjoyed massaging the rubber bit while he drank his down-down, Siberia complained she’s run 100 trails, not 50!
Horny Hsher and Loco (celebrity knitter)
Leslie – friend of Hand Job
Mile High – Harriette
Parking Pussy – Harriette
Isabelle – daughter of Inky
Luke – boyfriend of Isabelle
Fiona – friend of Stormy
And FROM THE CIRCLE:
- Parking Pussy from the Harriettes announced her State of Origin trail on Wednesday next, starting from the Mosman Hotel.
- Kaffir2 wanted to know why Starboard had not told anyone about the manufactured marihuana or brought any along for her running mates.
- Even though Penile Dementia was in fine voice as usual, Darwin Don insisted on singing a song about boxes of cherries to Starboard.
Geo called social drinking and the troops demolished the pasta and sauces and then the birthday candles were lit on the cake and Happy Birthday sung (properly) again.
NEXT AUGUST RUN:
Kaffir2 – at a place to be announced when he’s analysed the long range weather forecast.
Anyone wanting to set the run for September, please let her know.